Fagin's Library
by shady stays gold
Summary: What happens when Fagin really takes Bill Sykes's suggestion and starts a library? ...anger management, re-shelving, and craziness.


**Hi, I'm Shady. This fandom is looking pretty slash-majority, but it's pretty good with fics for a play, I guess... Anyway, I'm in a play of Oliver! and got inspired to write, so here goes. :)**

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"Twist?" asks a gentle, tender old voice. "Oliver, dear boy, I need you over in the fiction section." The voice pauses. "Twist?" it says a bit more roughly. The person is getting impatient. There's a loud slap as someone smacks a bookshelf. _"Twist?" _The old library keeper, Fagin, stalks out from behind a bookshelf, his eyes blazing in anger. "TWIIIIIIIST!"

"Don' worry, I'm 'ere, I'm 'ere!" says a hurried, high-pitched voice. A short, skinny little boy ran out toward Fagin. "Gee, Fagin, why're you so angry this mornin'?"

"Bill," says Fagin, crossing his arms in a pouting way that looked ridiculous on an old man. "He absolutely _refused_ to return his books!"

"Why, that's awful," says Oliver. He thinks, and then gets an idea- or possibly an idea to get outside. "Hey, Fagin, how 'bout I go to Bill 'n Nancy's house to get the books back? I bet I can." Fagin stroked the stubble on his chin, pondering this. He's about to say no, but he sees Oliver's persistent look and he just _has _to let him go.

"All right, dear boy," Fagin relents, sighing. Oliver bolts out of the doors of the shabby little library. He runs down the streets of London happily, his boot-clad feet clicking against the pavement. Eventually, he makes it to Bill and Nancy's house. The first thing he hears there is the sound of glass breaking and Nancy's scream. As he trots up, the steps, he hears Bill saying a word he'd never heard before.

"Bitch!" Bill screams at Nancy.

Outside of Nancy's room, Oliver cocks his head to the side, trying to contemplate what this word could possibly mean.

Oliver walks into Nancy's room, puzzled. "Bill? What does bitch mean?"

Bill's face looked positively maniacal as he laughed. "Bitch? Bitch means someone like Nancy!" he points at his shaking girlfriend. Nancy is hiding in a corner with a blanket wrapped around her bleeding arm. Bill must've thrown a gin bottle at her.

"Oh," says Oliver, avoiding a rather large pile of glass on the floor. "Hey, Bill, where are those books you borrowed from the- ahh!" Oliver interrupts himself, because Bill steps toward him menacingly.

"THOSE DAMN BOOKS!" Bill yells angrily, picking up another gin bottle and hurtling it at Oliver's poor head. Oliver ducks, and the bottle smashes into the door behind him.

"What's wrong with books?" asks Oliver curiously. Bill just attempts to throw another bottle.

"Um..." Nancy says from the corner, still trembling, "the books were about-"

"ANGER MANAGEMENT! FUCK ANGER MANAGEMENT!" Bill bellows at the top of his lungs. He spins around to punch Nancy, but Nancy rolls out of the way. Bill's fist smashes through the wall.

Oliver decides to just leave without the books- Bill could use some anger management.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jack Dawkins (also known as the Artful Dodger), one of the other library assistants, is on a mission.

He needed to shelve 50 books in ten minutes.

"Dodger, dear boy," Fagin had said. "Why don't you shelve our new shipment of books? But remember, do it quickly. We have twenty minutes until the library opens up." That was ten minutes ago. Dammit.

Dodger grabs an armful of books and fast-walks over to the fiction section. He looks at the floor the whole time so he would see if he was about to drop a book. That's how he ends up running smack dab into Bet. The books not only fly out of Dodger's hands, one of them smacks into his right eye. He can literally feel it blackening.

"Dodger!" says Bet angrily. Dodger shrinks back. Yikes. Now his own crush is mad at him! What could be worse?

"What is it?" Dodger asks, scrambling to pick up the books.

"Well, Fagin just told me to look for you. You've shelved all the nonfiction books in the fiction section, so you have to redo them."

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**Yes, it was short and random. Reviews would be appreciated greatly, though. :)**

**[Shady]**


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